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I like pulling sheaths.  A lot.  I often find myself volunteering to do so for other nurses.

I like finding that place of control on a pulsating artery.  I like the beauty of a perfect site after I’m done.  I like seeing the red imprints of my fingers; Diana was here.

I like the complete trust the patient has in me.  I can see it in their eyes – even those I’ve just met.  It starts the moment I walk into their room.  I talk them through the process before I put on one glove.   I calmly describe what I’m doing as I feel for pulses, pull the tape away, snip the suture, slide the sheath out, and hold.  And then  we wait.

And we talk.   Some of the best times are those periods of closeness between a patient and the nurse keeping a finger on their lifeline.

I like those 30 uninterrupted minutes with a patient.

*Combating work-related negativity since Oct 2010

** Due to *, I won’t wonder  why the unit that was to be the special cath unit has not one single night nurse skilled to pull sheaths (since most sheaths left  occur later b/c cath lab doesn’t stick around after 5p to pull them before sending patients to the floor).  That would just be negative.

With everything that’s been going on at work, part of me was still hoping that things would get better.  I was considering who I could best talk to about current problems and possible solutions.

I don’t have to anymore.  The last unit meeting told me all that I needed to know.

The following information wasn’t found anywhere on the printed agenda, but we were told verbally what the atmosphere upstairs is.  There will be zero tolerance for any negativity.  (Now there’s a vague buzzword.)  If we’re openly not happy with any aspect of our job, leave willingly or they’ll help us leave.  There are over 200 active applications in HR.  He said that these people know exactly what it is like here,and they want the job.

I find it hard to believe they truly know the level of toxicity, but I do believe that they don’t care right now where they work.  The local job market for nurses is fierce.  That alone makes me take a step back.  I can’t afford to lose this job without a backup plan.

So, now I’m looking for one.  What room for change is there in a “magnet” hospital who is spreading the word to scare their nurses into silence?  There’s no sense in pursuing (therefore challenging) the issues surrounding magnet status if the answer is to immediately replace you with someone who will give the magnet people and surveys all of the “right” answers.

I have a few months before I receive the third and final installment of my sign-on bonus (better called a retention bonus).  There is a lot of thinking and planning to do until then.

October 2010
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My Happiness Project

1. Set a bedtime.
2. Make my bed every morning.
3. Always be reading something.
4. Move more.
5. Toss and organize.
6. Give proofs of love.
7. Leave the past.
8. Fight right.
9. Don't expect praise or appreciation.
10. Kiss more, hug more, touch more.
11. Aim higher.
12. Find some fun.
13. Ask for help.
14. Smile.
15. Realize it's possible.
16. Don't compare;be inspired.
17. Focus on what I have.
18. Beware of drift.
19. Take a chance.
20. Listen.
21. Be mindful.
22. Cultivate gratitude.
23. Spend out.
24. Do good, feel good.
25. Show up.
26. Have the courage to be imperfect.
27. Find joy in the ordinary.
28. Work smart.
29. Enjoy now.
30. Talk to strangers.
31. Go outside.
32. Start where I am.
33. Show up on time.
34. See art everyday.
35. Love with abandon.
36. Be colorful.
37. Dress the part.
38. Revel in accomplishments.
39. Learn something new.
40. Fear less.
41. Take pictures.
42. Speak with integrity.
43. Don't be critical about small things.
44. Manage my pain.
45. Surround myself with creative people.
46. Practice, practice, practice.
47. Don't force it.
48. Deal with something once.
49. Trust my instincts.
50. Avoid gossip.
51. Choose to see the best in people.
52. Take time to be silly.
53. Throw my own party.
54. Be a mentor.
55. Lean into my fears.
56. Find the others.
57. Do the unexpected.
58. Don't break the chain.
59. Do things others aren't.
60. Slow down.
61. Be cool with not being cool.
62. Be kinder than necessary and more generous than reasonable.
63. Pretend I'm good at it.
64. Keep in touch.
65. Row my own canoe.
66. Do what only you can do.
67. If it doesn't work out, find something that does.
68. Dream bigger.
69. Notice what's right.
70. Stop talking. Start doing.
71. When in doubt, choose laughter.
72. Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good.
73. Respect everyone.
74. Be early.
75. Delete the unnecessary.

Three Simple Rules

1. If you do not GO after what you want, you will never have it.
2. If you do not ASK, the answer will always be no.
3. If you do not MOVE forward, you will always be in the same place.

Decisions, decisions…

Ten years from now, what will I wish I had done?

All I Need

1. Someone to love.
2. Something to do.
3. Something to hope for.

Cannonball Read 2013

13

Upcoming Reads

???

Countries I’ve Visited

Mexico
Colombia
Thailand
Vietnam
Bermuda (British territory)

I write about…

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