Foreign exchange

My 21-year-old Colombian cousin is staying with me this month, and the experience has not been what I had imagined… at all. I expected to have fun, hang out, show her around, and practice my Spanish.   I expected a 21-year-old girl to be living in my home, not a 12-year-old.

It’s been frustrating to say the least.  I knew there were going to be cultural differences, but, from my own experiences visiting my family, I was and continue to be surprised by her behaviors.  As far as I can tell, the girl does nothing for herself at home.  I’m cleaning up behind her all day long.  She leaves food on the counter, opened containers in the fridge, trash on the couch,etc.  She’ll actually open some individually packaged snacks, take a bite, then wrap it back up and stick it back in the box – or put in in the fridge – or leave it behind some dishes in my cabinets.  WTF?

She fills my sink every day with dishes.  Only hers.

When she first arrived, she’d ask me for an extra towel to clean up after her showers.  I assumed she was just wiping down the tub and sink until the morning she looked at the large, old towel in my hands and said that wasn’t going to be enough.  I walked toward the bathroom and saw water streaming out from the bathroom, across the hall, and into my hallway closet.  The bathroom floor was soaked, and I walked over toward the shower to see the plastic lining was hanging loose outside the tub.  Right.  I turned and showed her how the plastic liner was to be in the tub at all times.  No more problems since. I don’t want to be negative all the time, so I choose just one or two things to correct each day.  It’s very hard to narrow it down to one or two things.

Most people are familiar with the differences in the pacing of life between America and Latin countries.  It’s very true.  After three weeks, my cousin has finally begun adapting to our quicker pace.  The first two weeks were frustrating when it came to making plans to take her out.  She was never ready at the time we told her we’d be leaving.  In fact, she’d usually just start getting ready to go.  I couldn’t seem to make her understand.  When we were an hour late, again, I finally sat her down, again, to explain, again.  I said,  “I know there are big differences between American and Colombian cultures.  Here it is very important to be on time.  Here it is rude to make people wait for you.  When someone tells you they will pick you up at a certain time, you must be ready to leave the house at that time.”   I’d said this before, but I think it made more impact when said while royally pissed yet trying to remain calm.

So now she’s ready to leave on time… most of the time.  She still moves like a sloth, though.  When walking anywhere with her, I keep losing her.  As in, I turn around and she’s not there. It doesn’t matter where we are.  We were actually late for a movie even though we arrived at the mall an hour early.

All of this, while extremely annoying, would be nothing if we could have some conversations that didn’t center around actors and musicians.  I’m very tired of answering questions about which celebrity I like better.  Though it beats the conversation we had her second night here.  She couldn’t think of the name for the dog she has, so she looked it up on-line to show me a picture.  This led us to the complete breed list of the AKC.  After showing me her dog, she then proceeded to click through each breed to ask if I liked that dog and why or why not.  Mind numbing.

She and I were leaving a restaurant the other night.  A family was standing in front of the door.  A young boy was directly in front of my cousin, and, rather than walk around him, she put her hand on his head and moved him over.  The kid’s mom (I assume) called out, “Excuse me!  Excuse me!”  after her, but she just kept walking.  I was behind her, and the lady turned to me and asked,”What happened? Did he do something?”  I apologized and told her that she didn’t speak English and that she may have thought he was wandering to close to the door – away from the group.

The other thing she does a lot is stare.  I’ll just turn around and she sitting or standing there … just staring.

From the beginning my dad would say she was slow.  “Don’t leave her alone in the house.”  “Keep a close eye on her.”  “No one will say so, but I know my family.” In the beginning, I defended her saying it was the cultural differences, language barriers, her inexperience due to a very sheltered life, etc.  Now, I think my dad is right.  Yesterday we were leaving another restaurant, and we each took a separate (though, side by side) door.  Her response was, “Cousin, we took different doors! “  And then to laugh.  And laugh on the way to the car.  And laugh in the car. “Cousin, we took different doors. Hoo, hoo, hoo.”  (That’s what she sounds like.)  She’s almost 22-years-old.

Reading over what I’ve written, it doesn’t seem too bad except that it’s been a month of this behavior. 24/7.   She leaves Sunday for Philadelphia.  I made sure I was off work so that I could take her myself.

I’ll be returning to Colombia with her at the end of July.  I usually stay with my grandparents or aunt.  I only hope her family doesn’t feel obligated to host me while I’m there.  According to my mother, my cousin and her mother are just alike.