The night before Thanksgiving I asked my sister, “You don’t think either one (Brother #1′s wife and Brother #2′s girlfriend) will bring up the house, do you?” We decided they wouldn’t. And they did. Twice.
I wouldn’t know how to even begin to fully explain my relationship with my dad. I’ve written before about the years around college. Since I’ve been back home (to graduate and then save for a home) things have generally been okay as long as no mention is made of future plans. Any discussion in that vein ends badly because my dad seems incapable of accepting change. He would be perfectly happy for me (all of us, really) to stay home forever. Unfortunately for him, I would not.
So this last year since graduating I’ve been saving and watching the market. I’ve explored every avenue I know to explore from agency listings to “for sale by owner”s to HUD listings to foreclosures. I’ve watched for available land in the possibility of building. All along I’ve wished that he was the father I could ask to help me sort out all of my options and have even said as much to my sister.
He’s been aware of the fact that I’ve been looking, but he hasn’t appeared to accept the certainty of the move. Now that I’ve found what I believe to be the right home, he’s suddenly very interested in giving his dissenting opinion – not of the specific house but of buying a house in general. He hands me a card for United-Bilt Homes that he’s had for months. (Much like the summer before college, he was against any other school but our local one until late July. Then – when the move to Florida is imminent – he asks me why don’t I look at these other Texas schools.) He criticizes me for not looking into other options but ignores my attempts to explain that I have.
I’ve begun my 10-day option period and will be meeting with a home inspector Thursday morning. If all goes well, I could close by December 22nd!
And yet, once again, what should be an exciting, happy time will be shadowed by regret that my father can’t be the father I want need him to be.